Hello, my name is Elena, and I am a FB addict. I just can't help myself: when I should be doing other things, fulfilling other commitments, I just need my FB. I decide to go in for a quick look, a tiny peek, and then I get tangled up in statuses and profile pictures and applications that tell me what Starbuck drink I am. I lose time to saving the planet by sending people pretend flowers. I burn breakfast accepting friend requests and tagging people on my "Notes About Me" page. When a friend recently apologized for not accepting my friend request because he had been so busy, I wondered what on earth could he have been doing? It had been TWO WEEKS! I can barely stay away from Facebook for two days.
A year ago, I had no Facebook in my life. Was I happy? Was I content? Did I have enough friends? Yes, yes, and definitely yes. True, I felt very isolated some days. Being a stay-at-home mom is not the life of luxury I imagined as a kid. With newborns and babies, time is one long moment during which you might not speak to anyone else even close to your age for several days. Toddlers are a bit easier: you have a little more energy, and you start to take the kids places and meet friends for coffee…but then you decide, when your child presents you with a wilted dandelion after a very long week of Terrible Two temper tantrums, that it’s time to have another baby. And you’re back to Square One.
Since my eldest entered preschool, I’ve felt my days are bits and pieces, snips of comings and goings and clock-watching to make sure he was picked up even while making sure my daughter didn’t nap too long or miss her meals .
Now that my eldest is in elementary school, and my youngest is in preschool, some days I spend almost the entire day in the car, running back and forth, shopping for groceries in between dropping one off or picking another up, squeezing dentist appointments in between soccer practice or pony class.
Yes: now I do have time to have lunch with friends, or get to the gym or just sit and read, if I ignore the rug that needs vacuuming. Of course, doing any of that (even the vacuuming) means I also need to ignore the itch at the back of my neck that tells me I need to work on my writing projects every day.
So, am I really so bored that I need to give up fifteen minutes to the writing “25 Things About Me,” or five minutes to finding out what song I am?
Not so much.
But here’s the thing: I’m having the best time doing all of that, and an even better time having all my friends in one place. I always wanted to live in a place where I and my family and all my friends and their families—old, new, liberal, conservative, Lattes or Skinny Mochas—could co-exist happily. Sounds like a Peter, Paul and Mary song, I know. But that was my dream, and look! Here we are: in my own little cyberspace town, having a common bond, at the very least.
It’s not as if I’m choosing my kids over FB. Yes, I’ve burned their breakfast a few times because I was checking statuses, but the truth is I’ve been burning bacon for years without Facebook’s help. Bacon takes awhile to cook, and I get…distracted. Sometimes I even forget I am cooking bacon and start to take a shower (that only happened once, and I was tired that day).
My point is, my Facebook addiction isn’t hurting anyone. It helps me feel connected, it gives me somewhere to go for a few minutes when it’s difficult to get out, and I REALLY need to talk to someone who isn’t asking me where their book is or what do I have to eat THIS week. Some would argue it’s a one-sided conversation on Facebook. I see it as a conversation with a time lag.
No, I have to say: this is a much, much, much better addiction then when I was addicted to carb-free ice cream (and just so you know? Even though it’s carb-free, you can’t eat a giant bowl of it every night and not put on weight, or not have crying jags the next day from the artificial sugar giving you insomnia and mood swings).
So, never mind. I take it back. My name is Elena, and I am proud to be a Facebook-er.
Welcome to my little town.
3 comments:
Hear, hear! That's what I love about facebook. It's so much easier to keep tabs on friends you love but only talked to on the phone a couple times a year. I would always overthink a phone call..."oh, she's probably cooking dinner or sleeping, or busy with something else"...but with facebook you don't have to worry about that at all! Email should have worked, but an email is so much like a letter and I would always carefully compose and edit and finally decide it was just too much work. But now, if I think Autumn's red cake batter looked a little like poo, I can say so, then think "oh, I probably shouldn't have said that" and retract my comment before anyone even sees it. I'm so happy to be part of your little village Elena! Cheers!
Autumn's red cake batter DID look like poo. And you CAN say it.
You should see what she made today.....We had unrelated plumbing problems, had to call out Roto-Rooter, and when he saw her bowl soaking in the sink he said, "You put THAT down the drain? I no wonder why I am here..." (Incidentally, I do NOT put THAT down the drain, but I have to soak it just to scrape it--and I'm not entirely sure I can put it in the food scarp bin, either.....
I love your comment - "welcome to my little town" - that's absolutely perfect!! And very true - here I can see and be with my friends even though they are thousands of miles away.
Oh, and Elena - try buying pre-cooked bacon. Tastes just the same (but with less grease), cost the same for the same amount of bacon, and it takes 10 seconds to zap. ;-)
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